Sunday Punch Newspaper, Nigeria
Sunday, Macrch 15, 2009
Have you heard the news? That our pastor, Pastor Adeboye, has acquired a brand new aircraft for N4 billion? Jesus is a mighty God, a mighty God, Jesus is a miracle God.
"Sharaap! Are you mad? So what business of mine is that? Now you see why I am not a Christian, and certainly cannot be your kind of mumu Christian. You are hungry and jobless and you are singing praises to Jesus that your bishop has gone to buy an aircraft for 4 billion naira! I am sorry for you. Please, get out of my sight."
"Na bad belle dey worry you. Can't you see the glory of God in that? A Gulfstream 4XP aircraft, whao, that's a pleasure ride, man, I mean a pleasure fly. Our pastor is the first to buy that kind of aircraft and he didn't even borrow a kobo to buy it. Cash down. I told you, our Redeemed Christian Church of God is the biggest and best church in the world, and buying this plane has just confirmed it, he has beaten others to it. We lead; others follow. Hallelujah!"
(Shaking his head) "Are you sure you're well? So, tell me, where did your pastor get N4billion from? With that kind of money, do you know what industry he can set up to provide employment for thousands, the likes of you jobless graduates who throng his churches in droves seeking the "salvation" of a job? In a land full of poverty and deprivation, a "man of God" goes ahead collecting monies from the poor and rich, promising them the kingdom of God, and going ahead to buy such luxury aircraft. Psshhh!"
"What you fail to know in your ignorance is that that money is not just our collections, not just our tithes and offerings, it is the blessing of God. How is it possible to collect N4billion just like that if God did not bless it? It is like the miracle of the five fish and two loaves with which Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour fed five thousand people. These things are not possible except through God. Look at all the wonders that are happening to us, look at the size of our churches, look at our university, everything. And we can still buy a N4billion aircraft and you think that is done by man? You are ignorant. May God open your eyes and let you see His wonders."
"O, I see! You guys collected N4,000 and your pastor performed Jesus miracle, prayed on it and it turned to N4billion! I wonder where is the taxman. About time religion stops being the excuse for not paying taxes. I am ignorant, ehn? Well, I would rather remain so than belong to your "enlightened" group."
"So, what's your gripe, anyway? What's an ordinary N4billion aircraft when even smaller boys own bigger planes in America, and even here in Nigeria? After all, Bishop Oyedepo of Winners Chapel, also has an aircraft. But ours has beaten his own."
"So, it's a case of 'my Mercedes is bigger than yours'? Hehehe."
"Stay there. If only you know how busy our pastor is and the magnitude of the evangelism he can achieve by being able to fly all over the world at short notice and convert people and expand our size, then you wouldn't be saying the nonsense you are saying. With that plane, now you have to know that no matter the money you bring to God through our church, you know our pastor is bigger than that. You bow."
"Hmmmmm, I see. But tell me, when will you get a job, now that your bishop has bought this plane?"
"Leave that alone. What you don't know is that in the same way that God has been faithful to Bishop Adeboye and granted him his wish for this plane, so will He be faithful to the rest of us and grant our wishes. Even with this plane, how do you know it wouldn't be a means for our bishop to be able to carry our supplications to God in heaven faster?"
"O, I see. You must be right. The plane flies in the sky, and heaven is in the sky, sebi? So your pastor will literally fly in his new plane to take your supplications to God? O pari o!"
"The fool says in his heart, there is no God. Please stop being a fool. I want you in paradise with me."
"I pass. Your pastor should be enough company there."
"So, what about the N100 I asked for? I'm really hungry, man."
"N100? Hundred naira ko, hundred kobo ni. Adeboye no dey there?"