By Jeff HootenIf you've ever watched TV, read a magazine or surfed the Net — and who hasn't? — it's easy to believe that the entire population has surrendered to their hormones. And while it's true that premarital sex remains the norm in society today, there is a new trend making its way across the land.
It's the New Virginity, and it's not just for teens anymore.
It began in the 1990s, as young people began to ask the question: "Why Wait?" Some decided to abstain from sex for religious reasons, others to avoid the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Still others realized they weren't ready for the intense intimacy of a sexual relationship.
Those same teenagers are adults now, and many of them are still waiting. And they've been joined in their quest for purity by a growing mass of adults who were once sexually active, but no more. It's a phenomenon known as "secondary virginity," and its practitioners have experienced sexual relationships and found them wanting. They're looking for love and respect — the kind that lasts a lifetime — and they're willing to wait for it, even if it means losing out on a potential mate who doesn't share their convictions.
These "born-again virgins" can't change the past, but they're committed to creating a better future. Contrary to pop-culture wisdom, those who do choose to save sex for marriage are not doomed to a second-class sex life. Rather, they typically report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and marital contentment. Moreover, early sexual experience has been linked to marital dissatisfaction, low self-esteem and greater incidence of divorce.
Indeed, why not wait?
Copyright © 2002 Focus on the Family.
5 comments:
This reminds me of the song Potter's House....
In case you have fallen by the wayside of life;
dreams and visions shattered, You're all broken inside.
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in;
the potter wants to put you back together again,
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again.
In case your situation has turned upside down,
and all that you've accomplished, is now on the ground.
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in;
the potter wants to put you back together again,
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again.
You who are broken, stop by the potter's house.
You who need mending, stop by the potter's house;
give Him the fragments of your broken life,
my friend, the potter wants to put you back together again,
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again
Well,secondary virginity is very important especially when one has been washed in the blood of the Lamb, its heralds an understanding of one's position in Christ and how much He esteems us. However,this decision doesnt seem to count much to those who should know that your past is wiped off in Christ! what do i mean? I am talking of born again brothers who still turn up their noses at sisters who they feel are used goods as long as they are not primary virgins. Talk of speaking through both sides of the mouth! On one hand, these ones pontificate on being new creatures in Christ, while on the other hand, find it hard to accept persons with a past not pristine according to the standards. A nyway, my take on it is that, those making this choices are brave and will be rewarded with fulfilling relationships with persons who will not hold their past against them. Most importantly, their Heavenly Father will honour them as they honour their body which is His Holy temple.AND DONT LET THE DEVIL TRICK YOU BACK INTO THAT CYCLE OF SIN, BY TELLING YOU,AFTER ALL YOU ARE NO LONGER A VIRGIN. OH YES YOU ARE.
I share your sentiments amma. The lyrics of the song "Stained Glass Masquerade" by Casting Crowns aptly capture the point you are making.
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
its a beautiful song,John,one i would love to hear sung as well as actualized in the church of Christ. We actually destroy more people by hiding behind our masks of falsity than if we actually let people see that we are humans with failings. When we fail , we definitely will rise again if we let Him cleanse and prune us. Times are when i have gone through temptations and have fallen, yes i sought forgiveness from God and i did recieve it, however when such issues were discussed in the midst of brethren,i kept mute. Inside of me, i was burning to speak out and say" look at me, i have been through this and out, and still standing". Then i think, what impact it would have on our nice little perfect world of pperfection,so i keep mute. Sometimes, i leave there wondering if perhaps speaking out might have helped someone else about to enter such not to, or even someone already overtaken and seeing no hope of getting out. But then such is the church we have built, a place that accepts only the whole and well, forgeting that the OWNER of the church said that HE came not for the wholeandd perfect , but for the sick, wounded, dregs that the perfect pharisiacal society rejected. May GOD help us in recognizing that a church filled with wounded but healing people,will allow God display HIS POWER and grace than a church filled with perfect people. Yes we aim for perfection but not at the expense of the lives of the weak amongst us.
The people of God have indeed become an army that kills its wounded soldiers, and the church of Christ a sparkling palace that turns away the stained and the dirty.
My prayer is that we'll find it in our hearts to once again welcome the weak, the weary, and the broken hearted. That the Mary Magdalenes of this world will again find a warm embrace and a refuge in our churches. I pray that we'll fly a banner that says, "Come on in, everyone is welcomed, for there is help and hope for you in here".
Post a Comment