Monday, June 1, 2009

Take Me Back

By Uvoh Onoriobe
Charlotte, North Carolina
June 1, 2009

Thank God for the ability to write and sing. I equate it to a vent. Without these one could literally blow up from life's pressures.

I remember when I was on fire for God. I desired to be in His presence at all times. At one time, I wanted to get into the offering bowl so I could give Him my all. His commandments were my mainstay. Sin and sinful thoughts pricked my heart and made me cry: create me a clean heart. How I loved Him.

In the course of time, I realize that I am no longer as passionate as I used to be. These days I partake in certain activities and am not perturbed. Is this a sign of backsliding? Have I developed a reprobate heart? I hope not.

The other day I met a preacher who was relentless in selling me her beliefs. She promotes the once saved, forever saved theory. She claimed nothing can pluck us away from God's hands. Right away, I remembered that they that endure till the end will be saved. I shook my head and said no. I may have my struggles but there is no way I will go in that direction.

Deep in me I want to go back to the place I once knew- where I trembled at His word. The place where I had decided to make a covenant with my eyes not to regard or take pleasure in iniquity. The place where pride and unforgiveness could not fester.

I decided to go back to my collection of gospel tracks and lo I found just what I needed. The lyrics from Andrae Crouch's Take Me Back was timely.

Take me back, take me back dear Lord
To the place where I first believed you.
Take me back, take me back dear Lord where I
First believe.

I feel that I'm so far from you Lord
But still I hear you calling me
Those simple things that I once knew,
The memories are drawing me.
I must confess, Lord I've been blessed
But yet my soul's not satisfied.
Renew my faith, restore my joy
And dry my weaping eyes.

I tried so hard
To make it all alone
I need your help
Just to make it home.

This was the beginning of a revival. It was coming back. I renewed my commitment to Christ whom I am espoused to. I kept singing. Brian Doerksen's Light the Fire Again was a definite help.

Don't let my love grow cold
I'm calling out, 'light the fire again.'
Don't let my vision die
I'm calling out, 'light the fire again.'

You know my heart, my deeds
I'm calling out, 'light the fire again.'
I need Your discipline
I'm calling out, 'light the fire again.'

I am here to buy gold
Refined in the fire
Naked and poor
Wretched and blind, I come
Clothe me in white
So I won't be ashamed
Lord, light the fire again!

I am still here and keeping my vision on target. I will make that eternal dwelling place not made with hands. So help me God.


amma said...

So apt. So timely.So needful.I have been thinking this way recently and so also a couple of friends. I believe God's Spirit is stirring up His people. Am sure very soon something will happen and He doesnt want us to be caught unprepared and slumbering.

This stirring is a wakeup call we should all heed.

Queen 5 said...

dYou are not alone. My own song has being...
Keep me standing,O lord my
Hold me less I fall,unto you I
Don't let my love go cold, for I cannot make it on my own.

I don't have a tune for my song yet.When personal bible study, fasting and effective prayer is becoming a struggle,I ask myself the same question every now and then..Am I backsliding?
Deep within me The SPIRIT echoes....This is not a time to sleep or slumber for the bridegroom cometh and the bride must make herself ready. But alas!my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak.For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do,that I do not practise;but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. for I know that in me ( that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells: for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find......Roman 7:14-25.
I don't know if the prayer should be TAKE ME BACK or GIVE US A PASSION LIKE NEVER BEFORE.I think what most of us really want is more than what we even had in the beginning of our walk with HIM.

XtianDoctrine said...

A heart cry of us all.....

olubukola said...

you know, so many times, i remember the good old days........days when all that mattered was His Word and Will. Days when when I was so consumed with passion for my saviour and lord. I remember when I faced hundreds of students like myself in Lecture theatres of Faculty of Law Uniben to share the good news about a Man i had come to love so recklessly, i remember some people refering to me as a 'wordite'i.e someone that was always talking about His many of those moments can i tell you about? And what about now???? Sometimes i cringe at my very own lukewarmness. I ve been caught up with so many activities and my Redeemer no longer holds first place in my life.........the struggles of life, the joys and pains of motherhood and marriage, secular work, weight loss programmes etc. my brother, yu are not alone in the cry to be taken back to where yu first met Him.....i share yur desire. i know that He will give us the grace to remember our first Love, to do much more than we have done for Him already..........He will see us through brother, I know He will.

john said...

But what exactly is the cause of this lukewarmness that has overtaken a lot of us erstwhile firebrand for the Lord? In order for us to be what He wants us to be we must know where and how we missed the mark in the first place. An examination in my view will go a long way in bringing us back...or take us where....we need to be

amma said...

John, sometimes we have been too far gone to even be able to trace the source of the lukewarmness, so i guess thats why we are asking Him for help.He wont do the work for us, but He can show us where we derailed and from there, its up to us.

john said...

When we were in colleges we practically had no responsibility: no job, no bills, no husband/wife, no kids. Our lives consisted solely of our academics......and for some getting engaged and disengaged......

Now that has changed. We've all grown up and are buffetted with lots of responsibilities. Some of us in live societies where we cannot stand up in the middle of the trains or buses to start preaching the gospel in loud voices. There are no more lecture theatres, no sport centers...they are no more.......

To me the problem is that of arrested development. We're stuck in the the mindset of Campus Chrisitianity. We need to adapt to the changing dynamics of our lives. Things will never be the way they used to amount of longing can bring back the "good old days".

We need to grow up period.

o said...

John, your comments surprise me,but then I remind myself that we are all at different stages in our lives. But let me just remind you that the purpose of this forum is to encourage one another, to be able to share our hearts freely without fear nor condemnation. if you think that it's because we have refused to grow up that we have lost our first love for Him......then you are entitled to your thots. But one thing is clear to me, no amount of 'arrested development' and being 'stuck in the past'is enough to justify the present state of our christian lives. And let me restate that in line with scriptures in Rev 2:4-5, I long for the good old days. Not even your cynicism can kill that desire.I am not ashamed to admit my weaknesses,To remind myself that there was a fire that once dwelt within me. Please, put me in your prayers ( and so many others that are cying to be taken back to the place where we first believed)...........We definitely need His grace.

john said...

I'm so sorry if my comments sounded offputting and offensive. I didn't mean it that way. They were not meant to be dismissive of your concerns..........and they were never targeted specifically at you at all. I was the spirit of being free and open-minded....expressing my thoughts on the likely reasons why we all feel this way.

I have my own share of coolness towards things of eternal value. I'm probably worse off than most you guys.

Again I do apologize for the callousness of my comments. I do respect the Spirit behind this forum. And I must confessed, although I don't comment all the time, I've been blessed by the posting and comments..........and by your comments too.

XtianDoctrine said...

Now that the slight hitch is cleared up....can we now go back and answer the important the question raised?

Why is our love waxing cold?